Acceptance vs. Approval - How to truly heal your relationship with your body
Updated: Oct 30, 2020
In the body-positive world, thereโs a whole lot of โLOVE YOUR BODY LOVE YOUR BODY LOVE YOUR BODYโ going on.
Thereโs nothing wrong with this.
Obviously loving our bodies would be a wonderful achievement. But for many people, especially people with long-held negative beliefs or distorted views of themselves, finding self-love can feel like an uphill battle.
Loving our bodies is a form of approval. But accepting our bodies is the first step to healing.
7 years ago I was sitting in group therapy listening to another woman talk about how hard it was to love herself.
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I chimed in and said, "๐บ๐ข ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ... ๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ค๐ค๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ท๐ข๐ญ."
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Upon further exploration, we realized this group member was actually struggling to APPROVE OF her imperfections. Not accept them. Thereโs a subtle difference between the two.
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This important realization has stuck with me ever since.
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APPROVAL = means you LIKE something.
(Giving it a thumbs up. ๐)
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The body positivity movement has a lot to do with approval. The goal is to like and even feel proud of our curves, dimples, and boob sweat.
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But approval is often the result of a lot of HARD WORK. And loving our bodies can feel like a far off goal at times.
Approval attaches value to our bodies.
If hating our bodies is a negative charge, then approving of our bodies is a positive charge. Weโre saying โhey, I like you.โ
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But when we take a look at what body neutrality stands for, ACCEPTANCE is the name of the game.
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ACCEPTANCE = Being with what is.
(Without a value judgment.)
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๐๐ ๐๐๐ง ๐๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ข๐ญ.
Read that again.
You can accept your body and still not be in love with it.
Acceptance is surrendering to what is. What exists.
Anything other than acceptance is the rejection of truth.
The rejection of facts. And that rejection causes tension.
Rejecting your body as it is, can only lead to frustration and disappointment.

One way you can work to accept your body - view it without judgment - is with a body scan meditation.
This is a simple mindfulness practice, often done while laying down (yessss total relaxation ๐ค), where you bring your attention to every body part - one by one.
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I've written and recorded a body scan meditation that's available for you to download right now! You can get started moving towards acceptance right away!
So light some candles, set aside 10 minutes, and turn inward!
I encourage you to strive for acceptance rather than approval at the beginning of your body healing journey.
It's the quickest path to end suffering.
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The moment we stop resisting what is real. What is true. What's right in front of us... the moment we feel peace.
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Trying to change your body OR trying to love it both require a lot of energy and action.
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Seeking approval from yourself and others gets exhausting.
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๐๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ซ๐๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ . Which in turn uses much less energy.
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๐Can you ALLOW your body to exist as it is?
Without feeling the need to change it?
Without feeling the need to love it?
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๐Can you ACCEPT the parts of yourself that make you human?
Without cursing their existence?
Without feeling the need to flaunt them?
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The ideas of acceptance vs. approval can extend into all areas of our lives.
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โจWhat's one thing you're going to ACCEPT today? ๐๐
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