Updated: Jan 12
"I can't afford that."
Chances are you've heard (and let's be honest... probably used) this phrase many times.
I hear it every day.
"I can't afford your services, your program, a coach, a therapist, yoga classes, etc."
In this post I talk about what "I can't afford it" really means and offer you some alternatives to use instead.
First things first, money is a resource.
For sake of this article, money is a finite resource. Meaning you have a certain amount of it.
And the exciting part is… you get to choose how you spend it.
If you have any extra money in your budget, even if it's not a lot, then you're someone who has a choice in how you spend your money.
If you're literally living paycheck to paycheck and you're buying the most frugal everything - shopping at thrift stores, buying store brand food, walking instead of driving, etc - and you've looked at your budget and cut all costs… then to say "I can't afford this" would be accurate.
The phrase "I can't afford it" is reserved for you. ☝☝
But for those of you who have even a small amount of freedom within your monthly spending then saying "I can't afford this" is often untrue.
When you say "I can't afford this" what you're really saying is "I'm choosing not to invest my money here" or "This isn't a high value or priority for me."
Many of us spew out "I can't afford this" as a reflex.
Perhaps it's because you're embarrassed by what you DO spend your money on.
Or maybe you don't even know where all your money is going, but you know at the end of the month there's nothing left over for things like mental health or vacations.
WHICH IS FINE. It's important to know that how you're spending your money isn't the issue (to an extent). It's the way you think and talk about money that needs to shift.
Strive to view your financial habits with the same compassion & non-judgment as you strive to view your eating habits.
Money, along with food and sex, is a topic that carries a lot of shame in our culture. I'm here to help you stand proudly in your financial decisions, not feel guilty about them.
Do and spend to your heart's content.
But make sure you own your choices.
✨Owning your choices helps you take responsibility for your financial situation. ✨
Simply put, you're taking back your power.
"I cant afford this is" is a dis-empowering phrase that places you as the victim of your financial situation.
But your financial situation didn't just appear. It's the result of choices you made.
So often I hear people say "Oh I wish I could. This sounds like a great program, but I just can't right now."
News flash: YES YOU CAN.
GIRL. YES YOU CAN.
If you WISH you could do something, then go make it happen.
You aren't powerless. You aren't someone who's just sitting here watching life happen TO YOU. You, and only you, are in control of your finances.
If you want to do something, you have everything you need to make that happen.
You're in charge of how you spend your money. You make choices every day about what you want to invest in and what you don't.
This month? Maybe Christmas gifts 🎁 are your top priority. Next month maybe it's a massage 💆♀️. The next month maybe it's an oil change for your car 🚗.
You choose when to spend money and what to spend it on every. single. day.
Next time someone asks you to spend money on something you don't want, try saying:
👉 "No thank you, this month it would serve my life better if I invested in _______ instead."
👉"That sounds great, but right now I really need to put my focus on saving for our summer vacation. Maybe I can do your coaching program in the winter!"
✨ Finding alternatives to "I can't afford it" also helps you and the other party involved have a clear understanding of your needs.✨
Let's use my Freedom Session as an example.
If you tell me that the session is too expensive, but that's not the truth, then you're doing ME andddd YOURSELF a disservice.
Here are other reasons you might not want to do the Freedom Session that has nothing to do with money:
You don't resonate with my philosophy
You don't have time for a coaching program right now
You found someone who does the 'same thing' cheaper
You're not ready to face your struggles head on and feel overwhelmed at the idea of doing this inner work
These are just a few of many reasons people may not want to book my coaching.
And all of them are valid.
But so often, we use money as an easy excuse.
If you were honest about the real reason you don't want to sign up for my coaching session, there's a greater chance of you getting your actual needs met.
👉If you don't resonate with my personality or philosophy, I'm happy to give you a referral for someone else.
👉If you don't have time for a session right now, maybe I could open up some time slots that work better for your schedule. Or maybe I can make a note in my calendar to check in with you a few months from now.
👉If you found someone who does similar coaching for a cheaper price, I'd be happy to tell you about my experience, qualifications, and what makes my program different.
When you're honest about your situation and needs, you'll get appropriate support.
Saying "I can't afford it" is an easy answer when you're either trying to protect yourself from being vulnerable or trying to protect someone else from feeling hurt.
My challenge to you is this:
The next time you want to automatically respond by saying "I can't afford this" ask yourself, "Could I say this another way?"
Here are some examples:
"I'd rather save this money for something else."
"I'm not ready to make this investment emotionally."
"I need to buy ___ for myself this month, but I will put aside $100 for ____ next month."
"I don't have time for this in my life."
"I'm not interested in going to that event."
"This item/service isn't of high value to me so I choose not to spend money on it right now."
Take back your power. Make a conscious choice about how you spend your money.
The truth is, most of us CAN afford life.
Which is a beautiful and precious gift.
So go out there and own it. ♥♥
Do you want to sift through your struggles with food or take steps towards healing your body image?
If this is a high value for you and you're ready to invest in your mental health, my Freedom Session is perfect for you.
This 90-minute intensive is the perfect way to take a step TODAY towards placing your money where your heart is.
$150 for 90 minutes of coaching, strategy, unconditional love, and takeaway tips.
Fill out the form below to get started!
I can't wait to connect!